Vulnerability (rewritten)
by CharlotteAgreste
Summary: Three days after Finn's death, Clarke is alone in her tent and finally breaks down. Bellamy goes to check up on her and hears her cries. He let's himself in and he provides the comfort that Clarke has been needed for days. **NOT FOR CLEXA SHIPPERS** **NOT A LEMON** **BELLARKE ONE-SHOT AU**


**A/N: Hey guys! So, I wanted to say that I'm rewriting this one shot because when I originally wrote it, it was almost three in the morning so there are a lot of typos and grammatical errors. I've been wanting to rewrite it for a while now and now I have time to. There will be some parts added and some parts taken out. Hope you enjoy and let's get on with the rewrite!**

* * *

 **Arkadia**

 **Three Days After Finn's Death**

Clarke didn't want to see nor talk with anyone, though she was always needed somewhere around the camp that was Arkadia. Plus, she still had to deal with the Grounders and make peace if she wanted to get they're help in rescuing everyone from Mount Weather.

It had been three days since she killed Finn. Since she drove a knife into his heart. She hadn't wanted to kill him, but she had to in the end. The Grounders were going to torture him, make him suffer the pain of eighteen deaths. Clarke believe that death itself was better than any form of torture.

So she killed him.

Aside from her last meeting with Lexa and her clan, Clarke had been very antisocial. She refused not to talk to anyone in Arkadia unless she believed it was absolutely necessary, her mother was included in this. Clarke spent a lot of her time in the past three days working in the Med Bay helping her mother treat patients, and when she wasn't in the Med Bay, she was in her tent. Drowning herself in self-loathing, guilt and sadness.

She could've done better. She could've stopped Finn from turning himself in. She could've found a better solution, but she didn't.

And she hated herself for it.

"Do you need anything else done, mom?" Clarke asked her mother in a monotone voice as she finished cleaning the needles they used for stitches.

"No, not at the moment, Clarke." Abby Griffin told her daughter. "Thank you for all of your help today."

"Yeah, no problem." Clarke said, then she exited the Med Bay and headed back to her tent where she would spend the rest of the evening.

* * *

Abby sighed heavily as she watched her daughter walk away. She hadn't failed to notice the drastic change in Clarke's behavior since Finn's death, hell, everyone in Arkadia noticed that the infamous Clarke Griffin was acting way different than her normal self. Abby hoped her daughter would begin to feel better soon, for she hated seeing her like this.

* * *

Clarke entered her tent with a heavy sigh and the tent flap closed behind her. She stripped herself of her jacket, boots and socks, leaving her in only her dirty, white tank top and cargo pants. She flopped down onto her bed with another heavy sigh and began thinking about how crazy and messed up her life had gotten since she had been sent down here to planet Earth to die with the rest of the hundred.

That was almost a year ago now. Her mom and Ark survivors were down here with them now, too. They were taking control of everything, which Clarke didn't like. It was like being up in space on the old Ark again and it reminded her of her days as a prisoner. Clarke didn't like it one bit and she guessed those remaining of the hundred didn't like it either.

If they even noticed.

Maybe that's why Jasper seemed to like Mount Weather, because it seemed like it was the complete opposite of Arkadia. The government wasn't as controlling, you could eat until you were full and didn't have to ration food and supplies, there were showers, actual beds with mattresses and actual blankets instead of furs. Maybe that's why Jasper wanted to stay. She had to get them out, but she did need the help of the Grounders. As much as others didn't want to admit it, they knew the Grounders were needed if they wanted to get everyone out alive an unharmed.

Clarke's mind began to wander and she started thinking about all of the people she and others had lost in the near year they had been on the ground. All of those people who died just trying to survive and build a life on Earth.

Atom, Wells, Charlotte...

Finn.

It hurt Clarke to think about Finn. Not only was he killed, but he was killed by her hand. Finn's blood would forever be on her hands and she hated it.

She hated that though, the thought that she had killed someone. The old Clarke wouldn't have done that. The old Clarke would have tried to find the best way to save someone. Death never used to be an option to her, but now it was, and she didn't like it all. She didn't like that she had changed form who she used to be.

She had to change though. She had to change to be able to survive down here. Everyone did.

That still didn't change the fact that she had killed someone. Sure, she had killed Atom, but that was different. There was no way to save Atom.

There was a probability that she could have saved Finn, if only she had just tried a little harder.

The worst part was that she told him she loved him before she killed him.

 _That's a great way to show someone you love them, Clarke._ She scolded herself. _Just stab them in the heart._

Now she felt as if _she_ had been stabbed in the heart with the pain in her chest. How many more people would she kill?

She had already killed Atom and Finn, who was next?

Who was the next person on her kill list?

Who was the next innocent person who's life she would take?

With that thought, for the first time in three days, Clarke began to sob.

* * *

Bellamy was worried about Clarke to say the least. He had noticed that she was acting different since she had killed Finn. She was more drone like and it was like she was on auto pilot.

He wanted to check on her. Talk to her. She had been avoiding him for the past three days, though.

Since he knew that she spent most of her time in her tent when she wasn't distracting herself with her medical work, that's where he decided to head. Hoping she would be there, he wanted to help her and he wanted her to let him.

Just as the oldest Blake was about to open Clarke's tent flap to see if she was there, he listened and began to hear sobbing coming from inside.

 _Clarke._ He though and he quickly opened the flap and entered her tent, the flap closed behind him. His heart broke at what he saw.

There, laying in her bed curled up in a fetal position was Clarke. Uncontrollable sobs were coming from her, tears were water falling down her face and her soft blond hair was sticking to her cheeks.

He watched as she clung to her furs as if they were her lifeline. He noticed her body was shaking and trembling as if she were cold and he wanted to do everything he could to help her.

Clarke didn't even notice Bellamy enter her tent for her eyes were clenched shut as she cried her heart out. All of the pain, guilt anyig=d grief that she had been bottling up for the past three days had finally spilled over the top and she couldn't ignore what she was feeling anymore.

Bellamy walked over to the side of her bed and knelt down next to her. He softly called her name.

"Clarke."

Clarke immediately stopped crying and sat up. She saw Bellamy and her eyes widened. She tried to regain her composure, but Bellamy saw right though her. Like he always does.

"What are you doing here, Bellamy?" She asked him. Her voice was shaky though she tried to sound confident.

"I came to check up on you and I heard you crying. I just kind of let myself in." He explained. "I've been worried about you, Princess."

"I don't need you to worry about me. I can take care of myself just fine." She protested, her voice less shaky than before. She didn't want Bellamy's pity. She didn't want him to think of her as weak, like he used to.

"I always worry about you, Clarke. I can't control that." Bellamy told her softly. "I thought you knew that by now?"

"I guess I should have learned by now." She said shyly but sarcastically and Bellamy smirked momentarily.

"You know? Crying is a good thing. You shouldn't ever be afraid to let go of what you're feeling." He told her. "Especially around me, Princess."

Clarke flinched. Princess was the last word Finn had said to her before he died. Before she killed him. All of the emotions she was feeling came back in full swing and hit her like a ton of bricks.

She didn't want to break down in front of him. She didn't, but she couldn't stop the tears form resurfacing in her eyes and she looked into Bellamy's soft brown eyes that were filled with concern. Concern for her and her well being.

"I-I killed him, Bellamy." Clarke said. She looked down to her lap and a few tears fell onto her pants. "I didn't want to kill him."

Bellamy was a little shocked when she actually started opening up to him about this, but he knew what needed to happen. He used his thumb and pointer finger to lift her face back up so he could lock eyes with her. He had to say this and she had to know that he meant it.

"Clarke, you did what you though was right." He told her. "You were being a good leader, because that's what you are."

Clarke remembered back when Bellamy had told her that she didn't have the guts to make the hard decisions. Looks like she just proved him wrong.

"How many more people are going to die because of me, Bell?" She asked him, and Bellamy noticed that she used the nickname Octavia had given him when she was younger. He almost smiled, but now was not the time for smiles.

"Nobody had died because of you, Clarke." He told her, taking one of her hands in his.

"Yes, people have." She said. "Atom, Wells, Charlotte, Finn, all of them! I could have saved them, I- I could have," Bellamy cut her off.

"You could have done nothing, Clarke." He told her. "There was no other way to save Atom or Wells or Charlotte or Finn. Their deaths were inevitable."

Clarke sighed shakily and clenched her eyes shut and tears continued to fall form her baby blue eyes.

"I don't want to kill anymore people, Bellamy." Clarke said when she finally opened her eyes. "I couldn't-I couldn't live with myself if I took anymore innocent lives."

"You're not going to kill anyone else, Clarke." Bellamy told her. "I promise you I won't let that happen, but you don't have to deal with this alone."

Clarke closed her eyes again and nodded as more tears fell down her face and a sob escaped her.

Clarke fell off of her bed and into Bellamy's arms, and Bellamy caught her with ease. He had to drop down to his knees so he wouldn't fall backwards.

Clarke wrapped her arms around Bellamy in a tight embrace and shoved her face into the crook of Bellamy's neck and started sobbing harder than she was when he came in. Bellamy had his arms wrapped firmly around Clarke's waist and he rubbed one of his hands up and down her back in a comforting motion. Her body trembled against him as she cried and let everything out onto his shirt. He didn't mind that his shirt was getting wet, though. His princess was hurting and he would go through hell to make her feel better.

"That's it, Princess." Bellamy whispered into her ear. "Just let it all out." Clarke began to cry harder and she scrunched his shirt into her hands and hung onto him like _he_ was her lifeline now.

Bellamy saw Clarke's tent flap being opened in his peripheral vision and he looked over to see his sister peaking inside. She probably heard Clarke's crying, too.

Octavia gave Bellamy a questioning look and Bellamy mouthed "later" to her. Octavia nodded, smiled somewhat sadly at the pair and then close the tent flap, the she continued walking to wherever she was going.

* * *

Clarke's crying had died down completely after about and hour and a half as she slowly calmed down. She still had Bellamy's shirt bunched up in her hands as she sat there wrapped in his arms and she was violently coughing now, having made herself sick from crying for so long.

When Clarke finally let go of Bellamy, she did so slowly. She had broken down completely in front of him and found herself not caring. He looked like he didn't mind either. Clarke sat up on the ground, settling on her knees. She slowly looked up and into Bellamy's big brown eyes. His hands we on her shoulders and Bellamy could see the difference in Clarke's eyes. Before, they were dull and held no emotion. Now, they were brighter and although the emotions he saw were all negative, it was a start in her healing process. She would never fully recover from the traumatic experiences she'd had on Earth so far, but she would heal as much as she possibly could.

Clarke smiled slightly as Bellamy and Bellamy smiled back at her. The moment was ruined by another one of Clarke's violent coughs and Bellamy could have sworn he saw her face get redder than it already was. Bellamy noticed a cup of water on her makeshift table beside her bed and reached over to grab it.

"Here, drink some water." He told her. "I'm sure your throat hurts."

Clarke looked back over to him, nodded in thanks and took the cup. She drank almost all of it in one gulp and then gave it back to Bellamy when she was done with it. Bellamy took the now empty cup from her small hands and placed it back on the table.

Clarke noticed that there wasn't much light coming into her tent from the outside, so she assumed it must be getting pretty dark outside and everyone in Arkadia would be retiring to their tents by now.

Clarke started to stand up and Bellamy went with her, her legs were shaky and a little weak so she fell slightly but Bellamy caught her and pulled her the rest of the way up with him. Clarke looked up into Bellamy's eyes as he towered over her and he grabbed a hold of his hands.

"Will you stay with me, tonight?" She asked him sheepishly, her voice shook as she spoke.

"Of course." He told her and she smiled at him. Bellamy smiled back at her, that was one of the first times he'd seen her smile in a long time. Bellamy took his boots and shoes off and Clarke led him to her bed. They got under the covers and Clarke laid her head on Bellamy's while Bellamy wrapped an arm around her. He took his thumb and stroked small circles on her arm and Clarke sighed in contentment.

Clarke then looked up at him and he met her eyes.

"Thank you." She whispered. "For everything." Bellamy smiled softly down at her and said,

"Anything for you, Princess." Clarke smiled back at him and returned her head to it's original position on his chest and she closed her eyes. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep and Bellamy listened as her breathing evened out as her exhaustion from today took her into sleep.

"Sweet dreams, Princess." He whispered, still rubbing circles on her arm. He closed his eyes and listened to Clarke's breathing as he slowly fell asleep himself.

* * *

The next morning, Abby Griffin wanted to check on her daughter to make sure everything was okay. She walked up to Clarke's tent and opened the flap, she was surprised to say the least when she saw a second person in Clarke's bed. That person being Bellamy Blake. Clarke had her head rested on his chest and looked to be sleeping peacefully, Bellamy had an arm wrapped protectively around her and he looked to be sleeping peacefully as well. Abby was happy to see that they were both fully clothed as there were no clothes scattered across the ground. She knew of Bellamy Blake's reputation when the hundred had first landed and she didn't want him doing that to her daughter. Though, she had seen a change in Bellamy when she came down. He wasn't the same man he was up in space on the Ark.

Abby noticed a small smile and couldn't help but smile herself. She hadn't seen even a hint of a smile on her daughters face in such a long time. If Bellamy Blake could make her smile, then maybe he was good for her after all.

With that thought in mind, the doctor closed her daughters tent flap and made her way over to the Med Bay to start setting up for the day.

* * *

Octavia Blake no doubt wanted Bellamy and Clarke to be together. They were just perfect for each other in pretty much every way.

Still, she wanted to make sure that no funny business had occurred between the two last night because Clarke had been in a very vulnerable and it would be pretty low of her brother to take advantage of her while she was in that kind of state. Though she did trust Bellamy, she still wanted to check and make sure nothing happened.

When she opened Clarke's tent flap she found Bellamy and Clarke sleeping happily under the furs of Clarke's bed. Octavia didn't see any discarded clothes on the ground and only saw two pairs of boots and socks. She smiled, for she was proud of her brother. He had come so far and she really hoped he wouldn't mess anything up with Clarke. In fact, she was going to make sure he didn't.

Because her brother deserved the best.

And Clarke was the best for him.

* * *

Clarke woke up and felt a strong arm wrapped around her. She opened her eyes and was confused for a minute before the memories of the previous night came back to her. She looked to see herself still laying on Bellamy's chest and his arm was protectively wrapped around her. This was the safest she had felt in a long time and she smiled.

"Morning, Princess." She heard a groggy male voice come from above her. She looked up and saw Bellamy's still sleep dazed eyes looking down at her and he had a small smile on his face.

"Good morning." She said. "You know we'll have to get up at some point, right? We do have jobs to do around camp."

"Yeah, I know." Bellamy said, there was a pause before he spoke again. "How are you feeling today?"

Clarke thought about it before she answered. "The pain and guilt is still there, but it's bearable at the moment. I feel mostly happy, content." She told him.

"That's good." He said. "Well, I guess we should probably get up now."

"Yeah, let's do that before someone come's looking for us." Clarke said as she sat up and stretched. Bellamy did the same and they climbed off of Clarke's bed, then they put their socks and boots back on and Clarke ran her fingers through her hair before they exited her tent together.

"I'll see you later?" Bellamy asked her. They had things to do on the opposite sides of camp.

"Yeah, I'll see you later, Bellamy." Clarke replied and she smiled up at him. He smiled back, ever since last night she had been smiling more than she had in a week, even before Finn's death.

Clarke turned and walked in the direction of the Med Bay and Bellamy just stood outside of her tent and watched her go. She was healing. It was going to take time, but she was healing.

And that was all he could ask for.

"Bellamy!" He heard his name being called and he turned to see Miller waving him over. "Come on we need your help with this."

Bellamy smiled and shook his head, they couldn't teach people how to shoot without making any mistakes and he didn't really understand it.

Bellamy and Clarke were working all day, but not once did one leave the others mind.

Not once.

* * *

 **A/N: GUYS THIS IS ALMOST 4,000 WORDS. THIS IS THE LONGEST ONE SHOT I'VE EVER WRITTEN AND I'M HONESTLY REALLY PROUD OF IT. I really hope you guys like this rewrite and if you didn't read the original, well, good. It was really bad in my opinion. This rewritten version is so much better. Leave a review if you liked it! Until next time.**

 **~Charlotte**


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